The man I was speaking with was distraught. His wife wanted to leave him (again!) and, although she had agreed to marriage counseling, she was procrastinating.

Afraid to rock the boat, he wanted to give her time, even though it meant more opportunity to continue her old affair or start a new one.

When we are faced with pending loss, we tend to compromise and hang onto any scrap of hope. However, doing so could in fact destroy any chance we have to salvage a relationship.

The surest way to lose a loved one – a spouse, lover, child, parent, sibling, as well as a friend, associate or business contact – is to permit abuse. You let someone treat you unfairly, and sooner or later he or she will leave your life. 

They will have a slew of wild complaints to justify their departure, and getting them back at that point may become impossible.

My advice to the man was: Insist. Bring your wife to marriage counseling, or you’ll lose her anyway.

And so we all must do: insist on eliminating the abuse.

What is your experience with this sort of situation? I would love to hear your feedback. And I hope you found this helpful.