There is a lot of talk about “soul mates” and some of it is confusing and even untrue. That’s why I’ve chosen to tackle this subject early in this series.

You may have known two people who seemed like perfect soul mates (or you may have been in such a relationship yourself) until… everything fell apart.

You may have asked yourself if such a thing as “soul mates” even exists and, if so, why does it “evaporate” and how to prevent its destruction.

“Soul mating” doesn’t just happen. You make it happen.

And here is the big secret:

Providing you meet someone very special. The two of you are a perfect match! Now what?

Well, you may have noticed that nothing in life stays the same, much less gets better all by itself. If you buy a house surrounded by beautiful gardens, you have to tend to them or they die.

A relationship is like a garden and, when its “fruit” starts off well, you better cultivate it and preserve it and not count on “rain” or luck to keep it alive.

You have to work at it or it dies.

Soul-mate relationships that fall apart have not been kept up. Many couples put their relationships “on automatic” and expect them to keep growing on their own. They don’t.

So never rest on your laurels.

But there is another type of soul mates.

That’s the “fatal attraction” kind. When a relationship suffers too much drama and many ups and down, you can suspect it’s nothing but fatal attraction. They’ll ruin each other.

– Daphna Levy, Marriage Aide